We’ve all been there… at a party with a rude or obnoxious guest. Usually we can cope, but sometimes we want an exit strategy… for them.
1. Play pin the tail on the donkey. Make the UPG the donkey.
- Cut the power to your house. Ask the UPG to go check the outdoor electric panel. Lock all the doors.
3. Eerily whisper into the UPG’s ear that you have a feeling of impending doom.
- Unleash your children/children in attendance on the UPG.
- Unleash your un-neutered dog on the UPG.
- Supply them with too much information. Very, personal information.
Bonus tip * Stand uncomfortably close to the UPG while supplying the personal information.
- Summon all of the UPG ex-girlfriends/boyfriends to the party at once.
- Tell them about your fever, stomach cramps, vomiting, diarrhea, and throbbing headache. Put your arm around him/her and say that you hope it’s not contagious.
It’s just small pox, bro!
9. Enlist the UPG to do a few chores around the house. Just a few: All of the dishes, the party trash, the floors…
10. Just say, “I’ll be back in 2 minutes.” Leave with the rest of the party guests and don’t return for at least an hour. The UPG will likely be gone when you return.
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