Friday the 13th Superstitions

Everyone knows not to cross paths with a black cat, break a mirror, or get a haircut today. Here is a list of Friday the 13th Superstitions we think you may be unfamiliar with, mostly because we made them up.

1. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT, blow dry your hair today as harm will come to your first born kitty.

Fight, kitty, fight!

2. Do NOT cross paths with brown dogs or you will choke on your food.

Just as delicious coming out as it is going in…

3. Please don’t answer the phone today before the third ring or you will suffer great misfortune when exercising.

An unfortunate failure indeed.

4. Do not bathe your dog today or you will suffer a great humiliation.

Well, that’s pretty humiliating as it is…

5. You heard it from us, do not operate a motor vehicle solo.

We told you so.

6. Only speak in metaphors today or you will lose your physical coordination.

It’s just not working out.

7. Lock all of your doors today just to be safe…

That was bound to be a disaster one way or another.

8. Do not eat anything that must be cooked in a toaster, convection oven, stove-top, oven, or microwave.

You are just setting yourself up for failure.

9. Avoid purchasing new fixtures for your home today.

It just wasn’t meant to be.

10. Do not wear sandwiches as shoes today, actually you should never do this.

Why?

11. Today is not the day to trust a tween.

That’s just cruel.

12. Wearing red on Friday the 13th is like asking to get struck with an object.

She must have also failed to speak in metaphors.

13. If you are unfaithful to your partner today you will suffer from life-long impotency.

Safe-sex ^

We cannot guarantee your safety today if you do not follow these tips. Misfortune is just as likely to occur as it is if you do not follow the original superstitions of this day.

Click here to see 13 traditional superstitions

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